A Lover's Vigil
by SixthSeason
Summary: No one had expected Martin to jump in the way of the falling siege engine before it collapsed on me. No one expected that large chunk of metal from the siege engine to hit him square in the skull and knock him out. No one expected him to survive.


No one had expected Martin to jump in the way of the falling siege engine before it collapsed on me. No one expected that large chunk of metal to hit him square in the skull and knock him out.

No one expected him to survive.

He had been bed-ridden for the past three days, unresponsive and unmoving. I could only keep vigil by his side, praying to the divines that I had scorned for so long to spare him; to let him open his eyes and tell me that he would be okay. If need be, I'd gladly exchange my life for his. An Emperor was needed by Tamriel. A former thief was not.

"Azure." Jauffre entered the room with a tray of food and set it on the table next to Martin's bed. "You haven't eaten. You need to keep your strength up."

I didn't look at him; I kept my gaze on Martin's still form. "I'm sorry, Grandmaster." I said simply.

It wasn't like Jauffre to show any empathy, so I was somewhat surprised when his hand found my shoulder and patted it briefly. "I'm sure he'll make it through."

"How can you be so sure, Grandmaster?" I choked, unable to hide the pure worry in my voice. "Three days he's lain in bed, and no sign of him stirring. Hell, I'm not even sure he can_ hear_ us. Gods...what if he-" Damn it. The tears again. Those damned tears! I tried my best to subdue them, but they spilled down my face and refused to cease. "What if he _dies_?" My voice was a strangled whisper at this point. "It'll be all my fault, Grandmaster. If I had moved out of the bloody way- He'd still be alive!"

"You speak as if the boy is dead."

"Well, he might as well be." I added with an uncharacteristic note of pessimism in my voice. "Who on Tamriel could survive a chunk of metal hitting them in the _head_, Grandmaster? And from that _height?_"

"Martin could."

For the first time since he walked in, I turned around to look at the old man who had become my mentor in the past year. His eyes possessed an unspoken wisdom, and a hint of optimism. "He can; and _will_ pull through. You just need to trust him as he has grown to trust you."

"Martin _trusts_ me?" I whispered incredulously.

"He has told me that he would be more than willing to trust you with his life, even if the outlook was impossible. And," He added, patting me on the shoulder again. "I honestly think if I had sent anyone else to retrieve him, he'd still be in Kvatch."

" But _why_, Grandmaster? Why does he trust me so much?" I looked at Martin once more, and my vision became blurred with tears again. "Why was he so willing to jump into the way of danger that was meant for _me_? Why does he lie here? I should be the one laying there!" A sob louder than expected burst through my lips. "Why is he willing to do all this for _me_? An ex-thief?"

"Why else?" He said it as if I was supposed to know the answer, so I looked at him quizzically.

"You've given him more in a year than what most people he's known given him in a decade. When he revealed his past, you did not shudder nor recoil. You embraced him and saw him no different. When he was in desperate need of a friend, you managed to be there for him. When he was in pain, you comforted him."

My eyes widened in sheer disbelief. "He- He said all this?"

"No, but I could tell all this from the way he looks at you. His countenance changes dramatically when you're in the vicinity. He smiles. Considering his past, I would find it very difficult to smile were I in his predicament. But when you're around, it's almost as you can feel the tension, hurt, and burden in his heart simply disappear. He's in love with you, Azure."

I had no words. Simply none. Martin thought all that about me? I gave all of that to Martin? I looked back at Martin and I took his limp hand in mine and squeezed it. Jauffre gave my shoulder one final pat before he left me alone with Martin.

"Is that true?" I said softly, reaching my free hand to tentatively stroke his brown hair. "That you love me? That I managed to give you all of this?" Something stirred within my breast, and I swore it was a mix of pure relief and happiness. Me, _of all people_ was able to make a difference in Martin's life. I squeezed his hand tighter.

No. It wasn't just that. Martin had given me so much as well.

When my nightmares plagued me, he'd be right by my bedroll to comfort and console me. When I came back in the ungodly hours of the morning from some life-threatening trek, he waited up for me, sacrificing much-needed sleep. When I was battered, bruised and in need of a friend, He managed to be right there, hand on mine, willing to listen. Gods Almighty. How could I be so...so..._oblivious?!_

I needed him.

I needed him so much in my life.

I brought his hand up to my mouth and kissed his knuckles gently. Leaning over his torso, I carefully placed a hand against his cheek and brushed the skin with my thumb.

" Hmph. And you call _me_ reckless." I teased softly. I so desperately wished his eyelids would pull back to reveal those lovely ice-blue orbs once more. "Martin...Tamriel aside, you cannot die. You hear me? You _can't_. I need you. Here. With me." With the utmost caution, I shifted my weight up to press my lips against his. I remained there for a while, for it could very well be our final kiss. I pulled away when the tears began to fall once more, my eyes scanning his face.

"I love you, You hear me?" I whispered. "I _love_ you, you crazy-ass bastard. If you wake up, I'm going to kill you for making me this worried pile of pansies." I rubbed at my face to dry the tears.

"If that's my punishment, I may just lie here for a while yet." A strangled voice whispered.

I nearly screamed and I fell off the bed, landing on my ass with an audible noise, and weak laughter soon followed. I scrambled to the bedside and gripped the sheets in my balled fists as I stared at Martin with my mouth open.

"And I love you, too." He smiled at me, his ice-blue eyes open and smiling as well. Those same eyes that sparkled when he laughed at something stupid I did. Those eyes that would look at me sympathetically when I told him my troubles. Those same eyes that looked at me now with nothing but love written in them.

I hoped my eyes were reflecting that as well.


End file.
